STAGE THREE: Bargaining Stage
Symptoms: You think you had completely forgotten him and that you already had healed your broken heart. Yet you are totally wrong. Things are all coming back to you again. You can’t sleep at night thinking about him. You begin to pray and wish that things between the two of you could be settled once more. You’re now going back at the first stage of denial. It only differs because now you would take it a step higher. You will do whatever it takes to have him back. Before, you were just looking from afar, yet now you will be hands-on with your strategies. You really can't accept that he you have a broken heart and the culprit is him.
You begin eyeing on him, following his every move, waiting for the perfect moment to approach him and do your thing. When that time comes, you’ll fight hard to have the nerve to say what you want to say and do what you want to do all for the sake of proving to yourself and the world that you don't have a broken heart. At first, you will be tongue-tied, yet once you’ve said a word or two, the eloquence of your speech will be so superb; it can even be delivered while receiving the Nobel Peace Price. Then, you’ll also borrow the words of Akon, “…so I want to take this time out to apologize for the things that I’ve done…and then later on you’ll hear yourself singing the song “sorry, blame it on me” (the female version) in front of him. Moments after, your tears begin to well up in your eyes until they have nowhere to go but cascade in your face. You will make sure that your words could make a best-selling book and your actions could give you the best actress trophy. Your plan to revive your relationship now lies in your power, as far as your belief is concerned. And heaven knows you will really do anything to be able to overcome this heartbroken stage and to get him back to you.
Things will now turn upside down; you’ll now be the one courting him, begging on your knees for him to come back again. You would adhere on the cliché, “Please give me a second chance…I can’t live without you…You are my life…” Then, you’ll sing, “I love you more than you’ll ever know…” But, at the end of the day, you go home all by yourself. Your efforts had served its purpose. But, it did not turn on the way you wanted it to be. To see yourself from a distance, “You open up your television, turned your DVD player on and played One More Chance by Bea Alonzo and John Lloyd Cruz.” You begin to hope that your love story will be like Bash and Popoy. That in time you and your guy will still end up in each other’s arms.
Hope is all you have this time. And it is also the only thing that keeps you from moving on despite the hurt of a broken heart. You are caught in the dilemma between giving up your hope, which means giving up on him and on the chances that he might come back or giving up your hope to have a new beginning…To start again. The choice is yours.
How to cope: Think of how pathetic you’ve become. Ask yourself. Reassess what you’ve done these past few days. How long are you going to stay in such situation? What is it anyways that you like in taking risks from reviving something which has long been dead? Again, you only add trauma to the injury and to your broken heart. You’re just prolonging your agony. Are you a masochist? Well then, consult a psychiatrist the soonest time possible. Or are you just stupid? Sorry, but until now there hasn’t been a cure for stupidity since people become more stupid as they try to formulate a remedy towards this addiction.
Definitely it is good to never give up. Never say die, as they say. But, in cases like this; only fools have the eyes to see a spark of optimism. We must choose our battles. We must have enough reason to fight for something. Victories will not live its name if not driven by solid grounds for its existence. I can say that in this instance, your triumph is in giving up the fight and to start treading the way towards healing your broken heart, instead of adding harm into it. If your heart tells you to fight, but your mind tells you otherwise. Then, remember that you are more a rational being than an emotional one.
The soonest time possible, you must take the first trip from dreamland to reality. For sure, there will be lots of seats for you since most people would prefer to stay longer from their fancies. To motivate you in getting rid of your fantasies, of course, you must think of the bad things about it. The same thing goes in getting rid of him. As a friend of mine said, “For you to forget him easily, you must think of his negative qualities. By that, you can surely have enough reason as to why it is okay that the two of you are not together anymore.”
You must bear in mind that bargaining has its limitations. You can compare it from “ukay-ukay,” or a thrift store, though sometimes you can get something at the price convenient for you, most of the time the owner also has his limit in giving you a bargain.
So if your guy offers friendship to you, it’s like the sales boy closing the price tag of one hundred pesos to eighty pesos. It’s far from the fifty pesos tag that you want or the “more than friends” status that you desire. But, that’s the deal---and it’s non negotiable.
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